Dear United States Postal Service
Posted on Thursday, July 06 @ 01:02:10 EDT by Lister
I would like to pay you some sum of money on a monthly basis. In return, I would like you to stop delivering anything addressed to "XXXXXX or current resident."
Approximately 75 percent of my mail is not actually addressed to me, and I'm thinking that maybe it would be worth some money if you would not give things to me if they are not meant to go to my house in particular.